the DRESS

Okay, 

I've got quite a few comments from people regarding what the dress looks like. To please all, here's a front view of it. 

Enjoy.

 (though i dont really know what the fuss is about.. it's just a dress you guys... ) 

p.s. all that hair is mine.. I know... so much?!? =) yes.. 

Better to give than to receive

Today, I had the opportunity to be a receiver and a giver. 

A receiver? 

Yes, I was blessed with an off day today. Spent it waking up at 9am, having breakfast,watching tv till 12 plus, reading from 1plus to 2, taking a nap from 2 to 330pm. Subsequently, left for my appointment at 4plus to the Lee household so that the Lee kids could model their clothes for me to see. 

Had loads of fun with them as they showed off and took photos in the pretty frock and suits. =) The doc met us there at 5ish -6 and we brought Mrs Lee and the kids out for dinner leaving Mr Lee to do some studying for his quiz tomorrow. We enjoyed ourselves tremendously, watching the kids and just chit chatting with Gen over dinner. Caleb and Sarah are really good kids and e doc even said it was good practice! Ha! I guess so... but.. even then no way, no kids for at least the first year. 

After sending them home, we paid our friend's dad a home visit to see how he was and to pass him some medical equipment that was required. Today I realize that God has placed in our hearts this burden of caring for those we know who need medical attention outside of the hospital. Especially nowadays where doctors are becoming more specialized. Often I find that families and patients have many doctors but no one doctor who is able to give them overall care of their health, putting everything together. I'm glad the doc is going into internal medicine and not surgery. He's interested and cares about all the medical issues, from the fevers, to the coughs, to the swollen legs and all that jazz. I love him for that. For caring enough to make this effort with me to go make this visit after work. 

And our life is made more meaningful. Indeed, its better to give than to receive. I feel blessed that I'm a receiver of many good things in my life. But i feel even more blessed when we are able to be a blessing to others when we can. 

Thankful for rest days

In my line of work, we are very thankful for rest days. everyday seems like the same to us...especially this week.

Worked 4 mornings in a row this week and found myself automatically 'switching off' at 10pm every night. Yesterday, after attending marriage prep after work and subsequently having dinner to celebrate Ruth's birthday (e doc's sis), I literally just fell asleep at 10pm while e doc was driving me home!

I dont know how my body does it... it just shuts down. e doc was apparently talking to me and i didnt respond to him. hahah

Nevertheless, I'm glad and thankful for rest days!

Getting through the many Ups and Downs of Life

I have not blogged for quite awhile now.. This is primarily because:

1. I'm now working full time again after studying for two years
2. I'm working shift - hence irregular hours
3. I'm constantly tired so every free moment is spent either napping on my living room couch or stoning in front of the tube box
4. There are alot of things e doc and I got to settle in preparation for the upcoming next stage of life

But you guys deserve an update, so here's an attempt:

Work
Life in the healthcare sector back home has been a mixture of emotions. It's definitely not a bed of roses for me as I adjust to the culture, the working environment and pace of the hospital. There have been many many times during the course of the past 6 months or so when I have felt upset, stressed, distressed. I have cried, vented in frustration and what nots as well.

The doc i must say has been really patient with me. However, there were times that he reprimands me and i usually out of pride resent it. In my human nature, I resented it cos it reminded me that I'm not great. I admit that many times I run to him first before I go to my Maker

But these trying times have also made me realise how much I need God's provision, support, strength, wisdom, compassion and mercy. God has been extremely patient with me while I go through periods of rebellion; not reading His Word. But He has always been there waiting for me to come back to Him.

Just like today. When I woke up, all I thought was, I dont want to go to work. I was on the verge of crying out of desperation and tiredness. It was too early to moan and groan to the doc so I could not turn to him. Instead I turned to Him. I asked Him to help me through this day. To take control of it.

And you know what? Yes, the day went well. He watched over me through and through. I want to go to Him first and foremost.. not as a second option. Im still learning..

There is so much to learn about depending on God for everything in life. That's what i want to achieve.. to be daily content with what He has given me and to be dependent on Him for every aspect of my life on a daily basis.

More Photos on Gracie-buddy

To all my dearest friends who have posted their comments in the past two blog entries:

Thank you for the kind comments you have given. =) Some of you have requested that I post them on facebook.. but not so keen cos i think i want to keep some mystery to the photos for now. but here are some other ones for you guys to comment.

We have to choose the pictures for our photoshoot and i'm really putting it off cos there are so many to plough through! dunno which ones i should put in.

Haha..1. At the Link Bridge

2. Intercontinental Hotel

3. Garb: Liverpool T-shirts
Location: East Coast Park

4. Same as above

some other shots

Photography by: One Eye Click
Location: Bedok Jetty
Clothes: Our own
Flowers: Country Florist (Siglap Center)
Man on Bike: Passerby

Sneak Peeks

Here are just 4 of the many many many photos from our photo shoot.. some better than the others (like we look fat etc..) ... but all in all we are pretty happy with them.. hahah enjoy.. let us know your comments.

I am having great Inertia...

... to run.

Before I started work and even during my first two months of work, I diligently tried to run twice a week, each run lasting about 30-40mins followed by resistance training with the Gym in the Pocket (i.e. resistance band).

Now?

I'm into almost the end of the 3rd month of work and I am finding it so so hard to stick to the two times a week exercise regime that i set myself to do. I have to really excite myself to do it. I usually only do once a week now. Last week i managed to go for a run but I could only do half an hour run.

It really requires discipline. I'm on my feet throughout the shift and especially when I'm doing junior work, I'm lifting, pushing, pulling, bending and sweating. But it's different type of exercise. It's not cardio ex as I dont feel my heart pounding and my heart rate going up. So i dont think i'm burning up very much calories. I dunno. I should wear a pedometer i guess. Cos walking 10,000 steps a day burns up

Apparently, 'a pound of fat equals 3500 calories' (0.45kg = 1 pound) Losing 1-2 pounds of fat a week is also apparently a sensible goal, and so you will want to use the combination of increased activity and eating less that will total 3500 calories for 7 days.
(adapted from about.com)

Like today, the weather is not bad and pretty ideal for a run. But i feel so much inertia. I keep on hearing the words, 'you can do it tom morning', 'you're hungry.. you where got energy to run?'

Excuses excuses excuses..

Divorce

Since my work timings are pretty erratic, I have not been keeping myself updated with the news recently. Even finding time to read the articles by the fav. writer has been quite a challenge. 

So yesterday, I brought the Sunday Times to work so that I could do some quick catching up with the current news, one of which was this huge article on dividing matrimonial assets during a divorce. 

It was a full page article giving advice on what couples should do before a divorce to guard themselves from problems should a divorce occur. It wrote with a preventive angle, on the stand that divorce may and can happen and you should protect yourself from it. so that you will have enough money for yourself and your ex-partner does not end up having more than he/she deserves. 

My thoughts after reading the article: 

Since divorce and the length of the article didnt interest me, I brushed and skimmed through the article. But I re-read it throughly on the way home and I was quite affected and troubled by what the article was encouraging. My first 'feeling' as a reader of the article was that it was telling couples and singles alike to be protecting yourself and not trusting in the marriage. 

However, if we begin with such a thinking of our marriage or even about married life as a single, that our marriage may result in divorce and we need to think about and carry out the actions as suggested in the article, arent we just allowing thoughts of divorce into our lives? 

I dont believe in divorce. And since I'm getting married soon, I ask myself whether I would take the steps suggested in the article just to protect myself. My answer is a big fat NO. Call me naive or stupid. While I believe some of the pointers will be done by me as just a record of our expenses but definitely not as a proof of how much maintenance I need. 

As Christians, the doc and I dont believe in divorce cos God created marriage to last. Where two become one flesh at the point where your marriage vows are exchanged. God says, 'I hate divorce' (Malachi 2:16). It is also said that let not marriage be broken by anyone for it is pleasing in His eyes. 

Yes, marriage is tough, difficult to make two separate people live harmoniously together.  It's alot easier being single I feel. But with God in the center of the whole situation, where is the need to consider divorce? to consider separation? 

getting to know myself more....

working life has forced me to look at my work attitude. and i must say there are many things i need to change and many things i'm not happy with.

I give up too easily. many a times, when i cant achieve something, my self-esteem goes all the way down and every right that I have done before is negated. I automatically think i'm extremely lousy and a hopeless case.

yeah. thats it. and it made me have a lousy day as usual. and i did a silly thing. i asked the doc whether he could come pick me up. He did of course and while waiting for him i felt extremely bad for making take that trip, yet he was really sweet about it.

Now, I'm watching greys anatomy in an attempt to clear my mind. yeap. life.

Yet, I was reminded just these past few days that God loves me not for what I can do for him but for who I am. And here i am, facing these troubles.

God really teaches man, when we ask him to give us understanding and to guide us. yea.

Orange

Green, yellow,ORANGE, red and black. I'm pretty sure you guys know what i'm talking about. For those of you who dont, its time to bring your head out of your hole of work, personal life etc and read the newspapers and watch the news. (even the newpaper will do..)

I actually cant believe it. 2 months into my job and i actually encounter an orange code where it is mandatory for us to adorn full PPE (personal protective equipment) with every contact with have with our patients.

I havent actually seen this happening but I'm going back to work tomorrow morning after being out of the ward for a week. When i was in the ward on Thursday, it was Yellow and we were given thermometers so that our temperatures could be recorded and tracked at every start of each shift. Flu vaccinations were also given. Now one day later, its Orange.

I know I have been complaining quite a bit about the current status of the situation but on the other hand, i'm quite glad i actually get to experience such a situation so early into my career. sounds sadistic i know but its true.

The precautions our government has taken has received an array of responses; from the kiasu to the bo chap. I dont blame them cos it really seems quite strange why we are in orange zone without even any actual cases being present.

But since it transmits quite quickly even without the usual symptoms, just be careful you guys. As mentioned in papers, just practice good hand hygiene. And pray. pray for wisdom for all who are involved in managing this situation.

Please pray for me and the doc as well as we continue our jobs as frontline manpower. We will be maintaining the necessary precautions but the prayers of friends and loved ones is definitely assuring and helpful.

In fact, really, with our church doing the 40 days of community, how much more we can show love to the people in our community (esp. our workplace).

More updates next time...

When people move on...

the feeling is bitter sweet. You know that they have moved on to greener pastures. You know that they move or change is for the better and you are happy for them. Happy for the promotion, happy for the change of job. and you think they deserve it.

However, on the flip side, the selfish part of me feels abandoned, alone. My support network has once again been broken into. there is a big hole in it.

Yet, why do i find assurance and safety in man alone? For God should be my one sole source of assurance, support and comfort.

Rest, Silence and Clearance of the unwanted

After working four days, I was scheduled for two days off; today and tomorrow. Initially, I thought, wow, only work four days ah? But, little did I know how much needed this day off is.

Have been a little under the weather lately. Started coughing two days ago - a dry pain cough which got worse at night, causing me to have restless nights and poor sleep. Went to work yesterday coughing a little, much relieved only when i popped a lozenges into my mouth to soothe the pain.

Hence, i decided to spend a quiet and restful day at home today.

Crap. just remembered that i was suppose to run another errand today but it completely slipped my mind. Nevermind. Shall do it tomorrow.

It's good to have time off from work like this. allowed me to have extended periods of time to do my QT, to do absolutely nothing.. its my Sabbath really. But not really too, since i also did some spring cleaning to my 'web life' and 'home life'.

'Web life'
Signed into my gmail account and started unsubscribing to things... like online stores, Melbourne's ticketing for shows, cheap airplane tickets to fly home to Singapore etc... Feels good. Cos everytime i sign in, I'm deleting a whole load of useless email.

'Home life'
With adult life comes the need to be organised with all the various aspects of your life. so finally bought that compact file organiser to file all my important documents like, insurance, banking etc. at least now my life is slightly more organised and i now know where all my important documents are.. filed neating and systematically away. My colleagues at work had to file for income tax recently, with yesterday being the cut off date. Thankfully, I did not have to cos well, I just started work not too long ago, so i earn less than $20, 000 annually. In fact, I really wonder whether my income is even so much ? Anyway, I'll think about that when the time comes. Just thankful for one less responsibilty to do.

Many things to be thankful for once again. Like, simple lessons from my QT which are gentle reminders for me, little acts of kindness that colleagues have showed me.

Life at work is not totally peachy and rosy. But it has not been terrible as well. A lot of times, the troubled times are always inflicted by myself i believe, when i wrestle with negative thoughts that come slipping quietly into my mind without me realising.

But i believe if i just hold on firmly to God each and every step of the way, and constantly practice the three greats, FAITH, HOPE and LOVE, things in life, at work, at home will be okay. Cos I have God sustaining me through each and every way.

It really does work you guys, try it. have faith and hope in Him, and learn to love as He teaches us to in 1 Cor 13.

Spruce

It's been awhile since my sis, the doc and I went for a foodie outing. So since I was on day off today and we were all free, we decided to go for another foodie outing, this time at a restaurant-bakery-deli called Spruce, located along Tanglin Road. 

Upon our arrival at about 11a

m, the place was only 1/3 full and we thought that we would be able to get a seat pretty easier. However, upon closer inspection of the tables, they were all reserved! And here we thought we didnt need to reserve. Thankfully, we did not have to wait long cos a couple at a four seater table had asked for their bill and was leaving. So all we had to do was wait for them to clear the table for us. 

Just as we were sitting down and making oursleves cosy, the waiter came up and asked, 'would you like sparkling or still water?' 

'Still please', i said thinking that he would be giving our normal ice water. A few mins later, three glasses and a bottled of mineral still water appeared at our table; opened and poured into our glasses. My first reaction? 'Oh no!'

Quickly i checked the price of my boo boo (should have said tap water.. how do i know?) and i realised that bottle costs $7 dollars! yikes... But since I couldnt do anything else about it, I just had to live with my mistake. 

After perusing the brunch menu, we finally decided to order the following: 

1. Spruce Burger with bacon - for the doc 

2. The Big Brekie Breakfast - for the sisters

3. One freshly squeezed grapefruit juice - for the sister 

4. One skinny latte to remember my Melbourne days 

The food is really not bad, esp the burger, which received thumbs up from all. 

The big brekkie was also pretty good (see above) but having seen larger scarier portions of the same type of brekkie in Melbourne, I wasnt too impressed. But it did inspire me to create these brekkies at home and invite friends over for brunch! 

The environment was also really relaxed which we all liked. 

So overall, a pretty good experience. Can go back again. 

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

This song really explains all I'm feeling even as I begin this new journey of my life. May you be touched too by this song as you learn to entrust God with what little you think you have; for what little you think you have, can be used by God to bless thousands. 

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school 

He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look 

Thousands were listening to the stories of one man 

He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand 

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night 

Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight

The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had

He wasn't sure what good it' do, there were thousands to be fed 

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus

The kindness in His smile

And the boy cried out 

With the trust of a child 

he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes 

Do with it as you will 

I surrender 

take my fears and my inhibitions 

All my burdens, my ambitions 

You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small 

And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all 

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands

And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer 

So I'll give you every breath that I have 

Oh Lord, you can work miracles 

All that you need is my "Amen" 

So take my five loaves and two fishes 

Do with it as you will 

I surrender 

Take my fears and my inhibitions 

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

I hope it's not too small 

I trust in you

I trust in you 

So take my five loaves and two fishes 

Do with it as you will 

I surrender 

Take my fears and my inhibitions 

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all 

No gift is too small 

Two weeks in...

Two weeks into work and I'm eternally grateful to God for all that He has done for me. Without him there, I wouldnt have been able to do the following:

1. Finish work at 10pm, reach home at 11pm, sleep close to midnight only to wake up at 5am the next morning to go to work at 6am in order to reach, be ready to start work at 7am

2. Be able to plant myself into the system 

3. Have a brain like a sponge to take in all the new systems, policies, ways of doing things, documentation etc. 

 4. Be able to take all things in stride, the good, the bad, the sad and the ugly. 

Really, all glory and honour for the past two weeks must go to Him. 

funny side of life

Since I had a rest day yesterday, I arranged to meet up friends for meals-catch up sessions at various places in Singapore. One such place was in the heart of the business district - Shenton Way.

It has been awhile since my last visit to this bustling place so having a few minutes to spare before my lunch appointment at 1pm, I decided to walk around and soak in the atmosphere of working in Shenton Way.

Hoards of people were roaming the streets of district as because of the timing, people were on their lunch break and many (as seen by the number) have taken the opportunity to get out of the office for a breath of non-air conditioning fresh air and a new environment even if its only for an hour.

As I roamed around the shops along the station shopping center, one shop caught my eye. There before me just behind a glass wall, were 4 men sitting shoulder to shoulder, on a narrow long bench in one of the 10 min Japanese hair salons. They were all dressed in business attire, long sleeves, black/grey trousers, some with tie others without with haircuts which were either a little too long or a too unmanagable. It was a worthy shot if only i had my camera with me.

I guess why not? get a quick haircut during your lunch break. I guess not just one but at least four (plus the two who were in the hot seat already) had the same idea.

=)

Funny. that image, though not exactly very hilarious will be with me for quite awhile. hahaa..

What to blog about?

Dear all, 

It's been awhile since my last post and I fear that my frequency of blogging would diminish. It's not that I have no time to write, I'm too busy or I just dont get access to the internet. Instead, its about, what should i write? What do i blog about? 

If you have been reading the news recently, there has been quite alot of coverage on netizans, bloggers etc. The internet has become a place where views can be aired openly without the censorship that newspaper forums or editorials provide. Here on the web, you can be anonymous and that is a great pull i feel for the generation i grow up in. 

As a blogger these past years, I never believed in no self censorship. what do i mean? Each post i write has been thought through with regards to its contents. Mind you, each post is true to its contents, experiences I've encountered or thoughts and personal reflections that have gone through my little brain. 

While some have an objective, a purpose to their blogspots, live journals, multiply sites, may it be to provide loved ones far away with snippets of their little one's growing up journey, or to talk about their profession and air their views on how things should be, many have a blog as an 'online personal diary' where their feelings, all raw and uncut is available for the world to see. 

My blog is neither. It did not and still does not have a primary focus or objective. Neither is it my personal diary for all to see. 

However, with each post I write, I hope that my readers (mostly my friends i should think) catch a glimpse into my life, into the happenings, into what I believe in, into my values. 

I hope that each blog entry might bring one of the following: comfort, encouragement, hope, joy, a smile on a bad day, faith and even the will to try something or do something that they have not done so. 

Yeap. But with working life, I'm left with little time to really reflect upon what goes on in my life. I do not want to just paste/write entries of things happening in my life. Maybe but i should.. i dunno. 

But i do know one thing.. i will continue to blog. Maybe for now in this phase, blogging will become secondary, maybe an entry per week, maybe less, maybe more. 

who knows? no one knows. =) Only He does. 

Passionless and Indifferent

The article struck a chord within me. It reminded me how we need to really want to be with God. Not just, 'okay lah'. I want to be passionate and not indifferent. I want to depend solely on God for everything, my work, my life, my family, my relationships.

---

I thought of the last story we have from the life of the prophet Elisha. Jehoash was king of Israel at the time, and he went to visit Elisha on his sickbed. He knew that without the help of this great prophet, the future of Israel was looking dim. Enemies were closing in on every side, waiting for the kill. Elisha told the king to take in hand some arrows.

And the king took them. Elisha told him, “Strike the ground.” He struck it three times and stopped. The man of God was angry with him and said, “You should have struck the ground five or six times; then you would have defeated [your enemies] completely . . . But now you will defeat [them] only three times.” Elisha died and was buried. (2 Kings 13:18–20)

That’s it? What a strange story! Why was the old prophet so angry? Because the king was nonchalant; he was passionless, indifferent. He gave the ground a whack or two. His heart wasn’t in it. God says, in effect, “If that is how little you care about the future of your people, that is all the help you will get.” In other words, if your heart’s not in it, well then, neither is mine. You can’t lead a country, let alone flourish in a marriage, with an attitude like that. To abandon desire is to say, “I don’t really need you; I don’t really want you. But I will live with you because, well, I’m supposed to.” It is a grotesque corruption of what was meant to be a beautiful dance between desire and devotion.

(Desire , 56–57)

Circle Line completion in stages

While walking the streets of the city a few days ago, i chanced upon this and got really excited:


I thought, "thank you God! it's happening! the Circle Line and next time i will be able to get to work easily.." But my hopes were dashed when I saw the front page news the next day, announcing the opening of 5 Circle Line MRT Stations. Of which none are immediately beneficial to me at this point in time. Disappointment.

Cos one of my main concerns for my future is transportation and its inaccessibility. I guess I should not complain not whine but instead of at it from a different perspective that God has actually prepared me for inconvenience during those 2 years in Melbourne with its transportation system.

I know that God has my interest at heart. so i'm going to keep hoping.

Just like other issues in life where are beyond one's control, like economic crisis, natural disasters, how people react and respond etc. I'm flabbergasted and left completely not understanding the situation that presents me. But over the past two years, I have learnt too that God is in control and that while I may not understand the reason or completely agree with the way things go, He is in control and He knows the bigger picture. All I got to do is,

Trust and follow the little guidences that He gives me step by step.