I will be telling a lie if I were to tell love ones, friends and the world in general that I do not struggle with being a woman.. or more specifically being a beauty for that's how God made each and every woman on this planet Earth. I should not be saying to myself, 'That should be enough" but i Should be saying, 'it is enough'.
Like every other woman (come on admit it.. there is something in your looks or body that you dont really like), I find myself toying, struggling, grasping the concept of being enough, being content in beauty. Somehow, I cant.
And most man cannot understand why we struggle so much with being slimmer, prettier, less freckly, tanned, fair, nicer legs, (fill in the blanks). You know, its funny.. the doc constantly tells me that he loves me for who I am and not just my physical attributes. That should make me happy right? but like many others, my mind has sent me this message instead... "So he doesnt like what you look like lah, he is more proud of you for who you are rather than what you look like"
And hahah.. you know, no matter how much he and I tell myself that is not what he meant, it is an extremely nagging pressure in my brain that tries constantly to reinforce this lie.
Why am I even writing this entry?I have been a blogger for quite a number of years now but if you have been following my blog for awhile, you would notice that my blog entries usually talk about general issues at large, happenings in my life, random rants and reflections on things i see in life. Every entry topic is thought through and assessed and determined whether it's too emotional, send wrong signals, too personal, too bitchy (excuse my language), or will someone else get hurt because of what i wrote. I tend not air my emotions and grievances on the blog .
But I'll make a little exception this time and talk about my struggle with feeling beautiful, being happy with how i look and yes yes.. i have loss quite a bit of weight in Melbourne, no i'm not anorexic (seriously...) and I just want to be happy with how I look and know that e doc and others can be proud of me.
Living in a world of knowledge, I have read books, attended seminars, conferences catered to women specifically about being beautiful, being princesses and being content with who you are cos God made us and He considers us beautiful, regardless of what we think about ourselves.
I guess I just wanted to remind of you gals out there, just as I was reminded today that beauty does dwell in each and everyone of us (regardless of age, wrinkle lines and fats).
For my male readers, dont forget to keep acknowledging the beauty that God has placed around you, especially close friends and loved ones. Simple statements like, 'you look pretty today', 'nice dress, i think it really makes you look stunning' or 'have i ever told you that you that you are beautiful? believe in it cos God made you and He thinks you're beautiful!' will really help in non-cheesy situations (you must know when to say it too lah... its an art).
But we do need to be healthy and not swing to extremes. But that is another story and topic all together.
Here's the article that triggered this whole blog entry.
The Essence of a Woman
12/02/2008
When we speak about the essence of a woman – her beauty – we don’t mean “the perfect figure.” The beauty of a woman is first a soulish beauty. We know – it’s a harder jump to make. We’ve lived so long under the pressure to be beautiful. But stay with the thought for a moment, because it will really help. The beauty of a woman is first a soulful beauty. And yes, as we live it out, own it, inhabit our beauty, we do become more lovely. More alluring. As the poet Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote, “Self flashes off frame and face.” Our true self becomes reflected in our appearance. But it flows from the inside out.
The essence of a woman is Beauty. She is meant to be the incarnation – our experience in human form – of a Captivating God. A God who invites us.
“You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
You are a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water
streaming down from Lebanon.” (Songs 4:9, 15)
Beauty is what the world longs to experience from a woman. We know that – somewhere down deep, we know it to be true. Most of our shame comes from this knowing and feeling that we have failed here. So hear this: Beauty is an essence that dwells in every woman. It was given to her by God. It was given to you.
Surely you would agree that God is nothing if not beautiful.
All around us God’s creation shouts of his beauty and his goodness. The way snow creates a silhouette of lace on a barren tree, the rays of sun streaming forth from a billowing cloud, the sound of a brook trickling over smooth stones, the form of a woman’s body and the face of a child anticipating the arrival of the ice cream truck all speak of God’s good heart if we will have but the eyes to see. The coming of spring after a hard winter is almost too glorious for a soul to bear. God’s beauty is lavished on the world.
Beauty may be the most powerful thing on earth. Beauty speaks. Beauty invites. Beauty nourishes. Beauty comforts. Beauty inspires. Beauty is transcendent. Beauty draws us to God.
A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet centre where God dwells that He finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy and in him, she is enough. In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our hiding and striving.
So Jesus says, “I will quiet you with My love” (Zephaniah 3:17). A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest; trusting God because she has come to know Him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm; a sense of rest; and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; that all is well; that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, one can release the tight sigh that so often grips our hearts, and breathe in the truth that God loves us and he is good.
This is why we must keep asking. Ask Jesus to show you your beauty. Ask him what he thinks of you as a woman. His words to us let us rest. And unveil our beauty.
(Captivating , 130-132)
from: http://www.ransomedheart.com
The girls
Home Made Garlic Bread
'Mayo Prawns'
Kerela Chicken (Indian Style)
Calamari
Pomelo salad (yumi-licious!)
Honey Baked Ham (how can you not have Ham right?)
Christmas Chocolate Cake
KoKo Jane and Grandma
jie and I taking a self-portrait before dinner starts
Daryl, Liz and Dennis
Liz, watching the tiles for words to form
Josh
Drawing his version of...
... a Jack-o-lantern drawing
The Gang of Doctors
The Birthday Girls
Sarah Lee, is Ben and Gen's daughter and sister to Master Caleb Lee.
Caleb, eating a piece of the 'fence' from Sarah's birthday cake
Caleb and Kimmie
Sarah and Mummy
Being extremely full from lunch, all i had for dinner was this drink at Starbucks called Carrot Medley which looked dubiously orange.
By the way, thats the Doc in his cadet haircut and plastic black glasses if you didnt recognise him.
This one above is a photo of me during my melbourne days with from left: Yuying, Kathy and Esther.
4) Pancakes (very yummy)
5) Chris & Jilyn at Persimmon
7) The Doc and I - being silly
same thing here.. decisions decisions
one of the sides i picked up from the conveyor (so so only)
I sent an email back asking what the numbers mean and i got a reply from Peter (seated on the extreme right on the red couch) that i'm suppose to guess the age of each one or something like that. i looked at the photo again and i still couldnt figure it out! gee.. these people..
Housed in the old Tao Nan School at Armenian Street, the Peranakan Museum houses artifacts of the Peranakan way of life. ‘peranakan’ which means ‘locally born’ is a Malay term which refers to communities that developed in Southeast Asia. Peranakan Chinese are descendants of Chinese traders who settled in Malacca and around the coastal areas of Java and Sumatra, as early as the 14th century. In the 19th century, the Peranakan Chinese, drawn by commerce, migrated to the bustling ports of Penang and Singapore. It is a unique hybrid culture that is still part of Singapore’s living heritage, very much seen in my family. Hence, visiting the museum was interesting for me since I have heard about the way of life or still witness them in my family.
If you guys are bored of wandering the aisles of shopping centers, or watching movies, I would recommend visiting museums in Singapore is another alternative. It's informative, quite affordable and cooling (i.e. aircon). Try it. =) Be a tourist in your own home country.
