In God's time

and this song reminds me to press on, to hold on to God and what He has promised. To learn to trust in His time. cos it will happen or there may be another plan that i cannot see. who knows, only time will tell.

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

God you keep me safe

But amidst it all, I always go back to this song, that always reminds me that God is there for me. Thank you Corrinne May, for helping me to articulate my tots, my emotions.

SAFE IN A CRAZY WORLD - BY CORRINNE MAY
I try to smile my tears away,
I try to keep my cool.
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter,
My heart just wants to bleed and stop Believing in me.

It feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and i crumble and I'm sinking to my knees for you
You cradle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's on a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

Little superhero girl I'm not

a little superhero girl I'm not. When things overwhelmes me, I feel like this song, I sing:

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wild world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to run
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles with lemonade
Play hide and seek with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore
And imagine how i'll make the world a better place

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognize
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na...

If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
Sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognize
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na...

Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world

seafood dinner

this evening, my mom treated us to a seafood dinner at east coast park cos she recently got an award at work. Being a family of small eaters, we only had like 3 dishes (and we didnt even order 4 rice). One Sri Lankan Crab - claws were huge!, slice fish (super fresh) and squid. =) It was a yummy dinner. Afterward, we took a walk by the lagoon to the hawker centre for me to grab a cup of ginger tea while they got ice jelly and mango something or other. Oh yeah, before that, while they were paying the bill, my sis and I went to take a look at the live seafood on display Have any of you guys seen an Alaskan Crab before? It's huge! the legs are super long lah and it's like the size of my laptop and that's only the body! =)

Also, we noticed that only non-asians were given plastic bibs to wear when eating the crab (whether it was pepper or chili). Asian customers werent given any. Wonder y? =)

simple trival

While accompanying Jansen this afternoon in church, he entertained me with some questions that i'm going to post up here. Feel free to try them. Don't think too hard. think simple and its really very easy.

1.






Put nine pigs into 8 boxes.

2. Use 4 '9's and create an equation which will give you 100. you can use addition, subtraction, multiplication and division

3. 99 + 9 - 9 = 100

Add one change to make this equation correct. Can be a stroke, a no. etc.

Have fun! =)

Stuff in my life

Just some random stuff

Time: 0121hr, and I'm still awake. Oh dear, am I going to be awake tomrrow? Today has been a pretty good day. Ill-disciplined but yet fruitful. =) Watched X-Men 2 on DVD this morning and wasted my whole morning away but was glad i watched it.. =) Just so cant wait for X-Men3 to come out!

Played for Hans today at YAM and as usual, she only gives me the songs during practise time (no worries dear, i'm cool with it, as long as the chords and key is there) It was fun, as we practise, singing them out loud, enjoying ourselves. Haha. Thanks gal for allowing me to play for you. It was fun! =)

Than i saw little Caleb! Oooo.. My happy drug has lost some wait, no longer so chubby anymore but still ever so adorable. He let me carry him around without looking for mummy so that was really cool. He can say a few things now, like 'dop', 'dada' and he is extremely cheeky and 'tan chi' aka greedy. =) But all in all, still my happy drug! I would go to ben's blog everytime i feel down just to look at the pics of little caleb and he will cheer me up tremedously. =)

After that, had a catch up session with Hans at Siglap. really glad things are back to normal as we talked and talked and talked.. what to do girls.. just talk and talk and talk.. =)

Lizards and me

Lizards, my no. one enemy

If you want to hear me scream in a high pitch voice not purposely but on a reflex action, just hide a house lizard (baby or huge whatever) somewhere so that it will jump up on me. Serious

Just now, came home from dinner with my parents. As usual, I would go over to the dining table to put down my bag, see whether there are any mail for me etc. When i lifted up some piece of paper, suddenly, a baby lizard flew up from underneath towards me and landed on the floor near my feet. (i'm not kidding.. it flew.. out of shock maybe) and of course my reaction: scream and run away to someplace on higher ground - this time, the staircase nearby. =(

Most of you who know me know that I'm generally not squirmish. I pick up cockroaches, bettles, bugs without any hesitation. But lizards... bleah whole different matter. Dont really know why, but its most prob a result of past experiences where the lizard fell on me while i was washing my hands at my grandma's house, finding dead lizards in the fridge in extremely weird situations (ask me sometime), seeing black looking lizards jumping out when i open my cupboard... You get the idea.

But on hindsight, the poor lizard. after the little incident, it didnt run away/dissapear. It was in one corner of the living room in clear sight, half on the wall, half on the floor. And there it was for a while. My mum's theory was it was in shock. So in shock that it couldnt climb back up the wall. she said, "I think you scared the poor fella, he's dead already lah." Haha.. Than, i felt a little guilty for screaming so loudly. Maybe i broke his ear drums or something (dun even know if lizards have ear drums)

Pretty sure he didnt die of shock cos i went back to check the corner and it was gone.

Sigh.. Lizards, Mr L, the bane of my life. =9

Faith

Faith.

I, me, myself

I, Me, Myself

I dunno how much of this i agree with. Some of the descriptions that people have said about me were so suprising. I didnt realise that they thought of me that way.

Arena (known to self and others) dependable, friendly, observant, sensible	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, accepting, adaptable, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, complex, confident, dignified, energetic, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, intelligent, introverted, kind, logical, loving, mature, modest, organised, patient, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, searching, self-conscious, silly, spontaneous, trustworthy, warm, wise
Façade (known only to self) extroverted	Unknown (known to nobody) bold, clever, ingenious, knowledgeable, nervous, powerful, proud, responsive, self-assertive, sentimental, shy, sympathetic, tense, witty

All Percentages

able (6%) accepting (13%) adaptable (13%) bold (0%) brave (6%) calm (6%) caring (6%) cheerful (6%) clever (0%) complex (20%) confident (13%) dependable (20%) dignified (6%) energetic (6%) extroverted (0%) friendly (46%) giving (6%) happy (6%) helpful (13%) idealistic (6%) independent (20%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (20%) introverted (6%) kind (26%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (13%) loving (13%) mature (6%) modest (6%) nervous (0%) observant (13%) organised (26%) patient (6%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (6%) reflective (13%) relaxed (6%) religious (20%) responsive (0%) searching (6%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (33%) sensible (46%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (6%) spontaneous (6%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (26%) warm (26%) wise (6%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 15.3.2006, using data from 15 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view TanYingHuaGrace's full data.

Some photos I found on the web of Kent Ridge Park













Kent Ridge Park

Location : Vigilante Drive off South Buona Vista Road. Access via Vigilante Drive, Science Park Drive and Pepys Road.

Size : 47 ha

Team meeting today was at Kent Ridge Park (much to the envy of many i'm sure) all 11 of us climbed into the van and off we went to Kent Ridge Park. If you have not been there before, there is a gazebo there at the top of a little hill which sits 8 comfortably. It has a great view of the sea! nicely shaded and windy (today, not sure about normal times) it's a really peaceful place to go to, to think, to talk, to have a retreat. we ate breakfast there, a fellowship of bee hoon (come on its true lor guys.. hee, great minds think alike?) and had a round of completing the statements, thanks to Joy. Quite fun really hearing what people have to say, their pet peeves as well as what they would do if they were in xxx situations and stuff like that. Than it was an update time of things happening in the ministry now that there are multiple things happening in the ministry at one time. =) nice.

Too bad there isnt a photo of the gazebo.

The afternoon was pretty cool too when xiao yang came by to pick us up for lunch in his dad's car.. wa zooming around ah.. dun worry i'm not upset if you for passing first *big small* (there dun so i very curt.. =p) Thanks really for doing that, i really had a good time at spizza as we talked about man and woman. Hope you got insights rather than more frustrated with woman. =0

Because i haven been in office for 4 days, there was a lot of catching up to do at work, sorting out issues and stuff like that. Not all fun when there is miscommunications at work but i guess that's part and parcel of work.

Than after that, Tingni came all the way from the east to pick me up! (eh really grateful =)) So that we could meet BX (my ex-DGL) for dinner (post brithday celebration & catch up session). so all in all, eventful day.

Oh! and Joanne messaged from Texas! =) Ooo. hearing from hear was really nice. Hope you are doing well dear.. we miss you at mentoring. we just met up on sunday .. talked like for 4-5 hours. Come back soon! =)

Thank you God

An Eventful Day.

Many things to give thanks for, many things to question as well. The day started off well as I was off today on retreat. Spent the whole morning just reading God's word, doing my devotions finishing up books which i started a while back. Hearing God, listening to his word for me, just sitting with him in the silence of my home was a good reminder that i do nothing out of my own strength but it is by God's strength that i'm here.Many times this is how i feel:

Journey - Corrinne May

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

God wasnt just going to let me escape with a theory lesson in the morning. In the evening, as I did some self-study, I was forced to remember constantly that He is my strength and portion. I was ready to give up, to say I just cant do this God, when He helped me. I felt extremely lonely just sitting there at starbucks studying and at that point, i received an sms from my mom saying that she was at the library drinking coffee. I couldnt contain the smile that emerged from my face. They came (my parents) and they accompanied me for the rest of the time. Providing me the company and assurance that I can do this and that God meets my needs at all times.

On top of this all, my friend shared with me about a situation at home. Dun know how to help you but if you need to talk, just tell me k? =)

Tree Top walk

Tree Top Walk



For the first time in a long while now, my family went on an outing together. We participated in a neighbourhood community visit to the Tree Top Walk at MacRitchie Reservoir this morning. 2 bus loads of pple, of different ages loaded up onto the air-conditioned bus as we made our way.

If you were to go online to check out the route, you would see that the whole route takes about 10 km. However, cos of the vast age group we went with, we took the shortcut starting from SIRCC (i think thats whats its called). IT was a really short walk to the suspension bridge.

When we got there, we all fiiled in one single fiile onto the suspension bridge and cos of the large no., we couldnt stop on the bridge. All we could do was to walk along. Soak in as much as you can while you are on that 200m platform.. and that's it! signs that said "DO NOT TURN BACK" were found at the end of the bridge. (my friend xiuling who went with us too some photos but will take some time to upload them)

All in all, i think i wanna go back. This time, i'm going to take the 10km walk. Not challenging enough leh the short route. =)

anyone interested?

last night and tonight

Last night and tonight

I have been having late nights the past few nights.. Wed & Thur was in church for prayer and Alpha respectively. Yesterday, went out with the FR ladies and Bangster Band guys aft they got off from work. we ate at crystal jade la mian @ holland v and than trooped down to wala wala to catch EIC perform. =) was really cool, had loads of fun just talking and teasing one another . wish i could have stayed longer to hear more of EIC, but had to go off early. That place is really smoky though. daniel said he had to wash his hair like 3 times just to get the smell out! =p

see photo of me @ crystal jade:

and @ wala with daniel and my sis:

Tonight, attended a cousin's wedding at Indochine waterfront! whoo hoo. I love that place. Very 'chi chi' my sis and i would say (very hip and happening, a little posh etc) but yet the atmosphere was so nice to relax and chill. Food was good too. They invited all guests into the bar first for champagne, before we were all ushered to the dining area for a meal of asian fusion food. Ah... wanna go back again! but its erm kind of a little more ex than usual. Never mind.. shall save up to go back and soak up the music and atmosphere! =)

Tomorrow, my whole family is going for tree top walk in the morning. Our first family outing since a long time. should be quite interesting and fun =) not doing the whle 10km (Cos its a neighbourhood thing and the age range is large) but doing a short cut. so doing 4 km and tree top walk. =)

Discovery

Discovery

At Stint Touchpoint today, jie (my sis) shared with us (the Stinters in the office + dotz) about adjusting into ForeRunner. It was a session that she went through at Keynote (music ministry of the US CCC) Pretty interetsing i must say. The main bulk of the session was spent on going through a pyrimid in which there were different types of adjustments. It looks like something below:




it was really interesting reflecting on which stage i was in now at work as well as in other areas. It occured to us that this pyrimid could be used in virtually anything. The process of starting a new band, in a marriage, at school etc.

My Ring broke

Just a few minutes ago, my ring broke. The ring which you so often see me wearing, black band i wear on my right hand, middle finger. It has been threatening to break for a few days now but I tot maybe it woudnt. But alas, it did.

Learning to Forgive

Luke 23:24
"and Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." And they cast lots to divide his garments

Many of you have asked me about my previous post. Yeap, i'm okay and i have been reminded of one thing: forgiveness. The devotion for the first sunday of lent was on forgivensss and how Jesus even in his utmost pain, taught about forgiving others first.

An exerpt from devotion:
" Forgiveness is a fundamental need in the world today.... Jesus lives up to His own prayer to forgive even when His life was so cruelly and cynically trampled on. What does the Lord's prayer mean to us especially when it comes to forgivesness?"

I had to forgive, and i have forgiven. =)

Gen12ii has began

Gen12ii, the student sending missions movement of Campus Crusade where i'm currently working begins today! In a few hours time, i will be meeting the students who are involved in this year's TURT- The Ultimate Road Trip, Music Missions. I'm really excited what God has in store for them and how they bond, how they relate to one another. There's onlyl 8 of them this year, the smallest of the three years.

Aside from them happening, today was a little upsetting for me. Heard things which made me angry at xxx. Why should xxx have the right to say the things xxx said? Good Grief. Dun really know how to proceed so my follow-thru step? Sleep over it and see how tomorrow. Tomorrow! Tomorrow, i lurve ya, tomorrow, youre only a day away!
=) Night everyone.